Worship the Lord!

Why do I complain about others when all along it's the Lord I'm really mad at?

I found myself contemplating this question the other day as I read Exodus 16, especially Exodus 16:8.

I remember when I went away to college after graduating high school. I attended Oklahoma Baptist University in Shawnee, Oklahoma. It's a great school and I really enjoyed my time there as my grades will attest. Anyway. . .I remember attending OBU believing God had called me into full time ministry. I went there to prepare for serving the Lord with my life. One problem. . .life got in the way!

While I was away my family seemed to be falling apart and the church was nowhere in sight. I got mad - at the church, at my family, and anyone else I could find. I left the church, I left ministry, I left God and pursued a life that I often refer to as my testimony building time. It's not a time I brag about, but it's a part of my life, like it or not.

Later, after I found myself at the feet of God like the prodigal son and began rebuilding my relationship with Him. During that rebuilding period I took some time to reflect on this period of my life. You want to know who I was really mad at? You probably guessed it, God. I was furious with Him. I mean, c'mon, this is how someone is treated who surrenders their life to Him? If that's so, then I wanted no part of it! You talk about a valley!!! While I was mad at God, I took my anger out on people who loved me, people who wanted the best for me. Why?

Is it because I didn't/don't know it's God at the time who I'm really mad at? Is it because it's easier to gripe about someone - someone I can see and touch? Is it possibly because I don't want to be angry at God, so it's easer to be mad at a person? It's probably all of these and more. What's yours?

But isn't that so much like me - get angy at poeple instead of God? Then again, should I even be angry at God?

The Lord led the Israelites out of 430 years of captivity - bondage, working for the man - and now they think they have it worse than they did before? Isn't that just like me - like us? God leads us into this beautiful valley where there's food, shelter, water, and this really Good Shepherd. And what do we do? We complain. We gripe. We whine. We get angry. We lose sight of the big picture - all for the scope of our present situation.

We begin to look at each day, each situation in and of itself as though they stand alone. We don't take time to connect the dots. We don't step back and see where we came from, where we've been, and where we're going.

Soooo. . .we whine, stomp our feet , pout, get mad, pitch a fit - and blame someone else for our current situation just like the Israelites blamed Moses.

If I remember correctly I'm supposed to consider it joy - all joy - when I experience various trials and fall into different kinds of valley. For in doing so - experiencing trials - I develop and build up perseverence which leads to maturity in my faith, making me complete - not lacking anything (James 1:2-4).

So, for today I will praise the Lord. I will lift up holy hands to praise and worship the Good Shepherd, His love, and His protection. Today, I will glorify the name of the Lord, not just with my tongue, but with my life.

I have found that it's hard to whine and gripe and be angry and worship the Lord at the same time. Have you? Try it today. . .now. . .this moment. Stop and thank God for family, your church, salvation, His love, mercy, and grace. Praise His name for victory and abundant life. What can you praise Him for today? Stop whining and start worshipping!!


Lifting Holy Hands,
Mike

Following?

Ever just read a passage of Scripture and become overwhelmed with how much stuff there is in there to learn and draw from? I had that expereince when I read Exodus 14:15-15:27. OK, I'll admit it's a long passage and hence the amount of stuff there is. But as I was reading this I just couldn't stop, so I kept reading.

There is so much in this passage of Scripture, but what kept coming to mind as I read is how God protects and fights for me. I have found that when I'm in the valley the Shepherd, the Good Shepherd (John 10:11) leads us just as Exodus 15:13 reminds us.

One of the phrases I have come to appreciate more and more is the phrase, "the right hand," especially when it refers to God because it often speaks of His power, His protection, His strength, His wrath, and/or His glory!! As a redeemed sheep of the Eternal Shepherd I am privy to GOD'S RIGHT HAND! I am covered as long as I follow; as long as I am obedient. He will put Himself between me and the enemy, just as He did for the Israelites (Exodus 14:19-20). And with His right hand he will protect me, He will fight for me, and He will lead me.

The real question is not will God protect me. I think we have covered that. The real, get honest question is will I follow and remain under His cope of protection? Will I follow Him to His Holy dwelling?

Valley experiencers these questions apply to you as well. So. . .will you follow and remain under is cope of protection? Will you follow Him to His Holy dwelling?

Following and Failing,
Mike

The Hammer

The valley gets to be a lonely place at times. And it's in those lonely times our enemies - the predeators in the valley - come at us and we either give in to them or we are overcome by them. So what's a sheep to do?

God gives us a clue in Exodus 14:13-14. After the Israelites - valley experiencers in their own right - see the Egyptian army coming at them like screaming banshees and begin whining and crying to Moses about how they are going to die (this is my version) Moses looks at them in his best Charlton Heston imitation and tells them to stand firm. STAND FIRM!? They are about to get overrun like Custer at Little Big Horn and they are supposed to STAND FIRM!? What's going through this guys mind, if he has one?

I'll tell you what's going through his mind, the same thing that went through his lips - "stand firm and watch the Lord fight for us." He knew that if they didn't run, if they didnt' try to take on the Egyptians in their own power, that God - Deliverer God - would once again deliver them from the enemy. Moses was confident in his God's ability to protect them, fight for them, and bring victory to them.

God will do the same for us - IF we let him. He WILL fight for us. First, we must, like the Israelites identify the enemy. What's your enemy?

Here are a few of mine:

• Impatience - "Let's get it on!"
• Self-Reliance - "I can, and will, make this happen"
• Pride - "It's not my fault"
• My Way - "I want to do my way"
• Arrogance - "I've got it all figured out"

So. . .I ask again, what are some of your enemies? Maybe they're like mine. Maybe yours include doubt, fear, confusion, loneliness, discontentment. Maybe your enemy is only something you know about and can't even put into words. To be honest, it doesn't matter, surrender it to God. Only He can bring victory into your life - if you let him.

Second, don't try to take on the enemy yourself - you will lose, I know from experience. And don't run, your enemy will only catch up to you and overtake you. Like the Israelites, STAND FIRM!, and allow the God who delivers to swing the hammer of victory and watch Him crush the enemy.

Watchin' from the Front Lines,
Mike

Faith and Power

This morning during my quiet time, as I was mulling over God being in the details of my life, I thought about a little book I bought for Karen while we were in Houston for one of Karen's chemo treatments. The book is entitled, God is in the Small Stuff and It All Matters: Stop Worrying and Invite God Into the Details of Your Life. It was written by Bruce & Stan. A couple of guys who love the Lord and have a unique way of writing about Him.

Anyway. . .I picked the book up and was looking through it when I noticed a bookmark in the back. It turned out to be one that Karen gave me on June 28, 2003. That was the year she was diagnosed with colon cancer. On the bookmark was the verse where Jesus tells us that if we have the faith of a mustard see we could do great and mighty things - nothing would be impossible for us (Matt 17:21). On the back she wrote,

Mike,
Continue trusting God in all things. Have the "faith" of that little mustard seed.

I Love You,
Karen

It's the same bookmark that finds it new home in my journal. It serves as a reminder - not necessarily of Karen's great faith, but that I must have the faith of the little mustard seed attached to it. And with that faith, along with God's power, I can do ANYTHING! NOTHING will be impossible!!

[Side Note: While I must have faith, it's not my faith that moves the mountains. It is the power of God! BUT faith must be present.]

It's a lesson in trusting God. What are you trusting God for? Do you have the faith He can/will provide? So. . .where's your faith? Is it in your abilities or God's power? All it takes is the faith of a little ol' seed.

Mike

Details, Details, Details

Are you a details person? Do you love diving in up to your elbows in details? Me? Sometimes. It depends on what it is. I love the details of a project. I hate the ongoing, mundane details of tracking receipts and stuff like that. I can't tell you the number of times I have become frustrated and completely wore out because of the details. You?

I believe my walk with God - my journey in the valley - is very much like that of the Israelites. I don't have to worry about every little detail because God will take care of them for me.

In Exodus 14:1-2 God gave Moses and the Israelites very specific instructions on where to go and where to camp out. As I read this I couldn't helpt thinking that God was, and IS, in the details!! Oh how that takes the pressure off of me. It doesn't mean that I dont' need to be aware and mindful of them. It simply means I don't have to WORRY about them and neither do you. Even Jesus reminds us that we aren't to worry about the details of our lives. He told us not to worry about things like where we will live, what we will eat, or what to wear. If God provides for the birds how much more will He take care of you since you are so much more important to Him than the birds of the air?

One thing God has really taught me is that HE IS in the details of my life. I still think about what he told me sometime toward the end of last year - Be obedient and trust God for the details. I believe He is always working around me - and you - behind the scenes. And it's during these times that God is working out the details.

Valley experiencers and flock, alike. So many times we become overwhelmed by the details of our lives. Our job is to be obedient. Trust Him. Obey Him. Follow Him. Just as God took care of the Israelites, He WILL take care of you!

Letting God Do the Details,
Mike

To God be the Glory

I sometimes wonder about this valley thing. I wonder why I'm going through it. I wonder when I'm going to get out. I wonder why it's so hard some times. I know God has some lessons for me to learn. Some are easy, some are more difficult. I know there is some growing that needs to take place. Some of it emotional, some spiritual. This morning as I read through Exodus 14 I was reminded that my valley is also to be used to bring glory to God. In fact, that may be the prmary reason I've become a valley experiencer. It's also the most difficult for me to grasp. . .to understand. I think it's because I view life, and especially my life, from my self-centered, self-preserving, point of view and not from God's point of view.

In Exodus 14 Gods says three times "I will bring glory to myself," or "I will gain glory." God was all about bringing glory to himself. Why? I believe it's to remind us to fear the Lord and put our faith in him. That's what verse 30 says happened when God destroyed the Egyptian army right in front of the entire Israel nation. The people turned to God. It was about Him, not them.

Yeah, I think there are some lessons and some growing to be had, but even these are meant to draw me closer toward God. And if I am coming closer to Him, then I'm focusing on Him more and more. And my focusing on Him brings Him glory!

As I think back to Karen's valley, I am reminded of how she constantly pointed people toward God, away from herself and her valley. Somehow she seemed to make sure God received the glory, not Karen. Even in her last days as she was REALLY drawing closer to God her words reflected her heart. I remember her saying, "Don't worry about me, 'cause I won't be worrying about you. When I get to heaven I'm going to dance with my Jesus and worship my God." You see, Karen, even in her last days on this alien planet knew it was about, all about, God.

So. . .is your valley about you or about bringing God glory? Sure there are some lessons to be learned and growth to experience, but, even then your valley is to bring God glory. Now, if your valley has become about you, step back and begin focusing on God. You will be surprised the difference it will make.

Glory to God!
Mike

Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way!

During my corporate career and for a large part my ministry "career" I lived by the axiom "lead, follow, or get out of the way." I was the guy in college whose group you didn't want to be in if you were looking to skate by. I remember my last semester at the University of Texas at Dallas. I was in a class where our entire semester consisted of working with the same group of people researching and presenting case studies. During our first meeting I declared with both arrogance and boldness, "We WILL make an A!" I was so very close to graduating with honors and I wasn't about to let that chance slip away. I also didn't want to go through an entire semester with people who weren't ready to put in the work to do well. In the end we made an A and I graduated with honors - the reason this was so important to me is a story for another time. All this means that I don't like to be put in a position of waiting on or following others. I want to be the one out front - leading.

As I read and re-read Exodus 13:17-22 one thing kept coming to mind - God leads, we follow. God's place is out in front - leading. My place? BEHIND God - following. How many times have I got that backwards. Way too many times for sure

If the Israelites wanted to see their promised land, then they had to follow God. It was as simple as that. If I want to see my "other side" - my promised land - then I have to follow God. It's not always easy to do, especially if you're used to living by the saying, "lead, follow, or get out of the way." It's not only my desire to be in front that gets in the way, but so do my emotions. My desires get also gets in the way. My love for the "hurry up" definitely screws up my will to follow. It's not easy, for sure, but that whole "lead, follow, or get out of the way" mentality is lost on God's idea of God leads, I follow. If I try any other way it doesn't work.

Valley experiencers, how many times have you taken your place in front of God. You do know He doesn't follow, He leads? Want to get to your "other side" God must be in front. If you find yourself in front let me encourage you to take time to confess to our Father, our Leader, your arrogance, disobedience, desire to hurry up, giving in to your emotions and desires, or whatever it was that caused you to place yourself in God's rightful place. Then I invite you to sit back and watch God do His thing. Our valleys definitely work for our best when God is allowed to have His place in our lives. So let God lead, you follow, and anything that causes you to reverse that needs to get out of the way!

Fumbling and Following,
Mike

DO WHAT!

My Dad is notorious for his "shortcuts." When we would go on a trip or a weekend excursion everything went as planned until he would proclaim to the fam that we were taking a "shortcut." This usually entailed a journey through some unknown, back-woods, little-used road that took us twice as long to get home. Since then Dad's shortcuts have become somewhat of a family joke. I have come to appreciate my father's sense of adventure and willingness to get off the beaten path. It just doesn't jive well with my sense of accomplishment that says we have to get finished with what we are doing so we can go do something else. So when Dad declares a "shortcut" the first thing that goes through my mind is, "DO WHAT?!"

That must have been what the Israelites were thinking when God led them out of Egypt and didn't take them the shorter way. In Exodus 13:17 it says that when Pharoah let the people go, God did not lead them through Philistine country, though it would have been a shorter route to the land God had promised them. Now. . .God had His reason; He knew that if they faced war, and they probably would have, they might change their mind and want to return to Egypt.

I can't tell you how many times God has done something in my life and I said, "DO WHAT?" It's because my perspective and God's perspective of my life are not the same. When God leads me in a direction I wasn't planning on going or down a path that wasn't a part of my plans I often find myself saying something like, "I wouldn't have gone this way," or "I wouldn't have done it this way," yadda. . .yadda. . .yadda. Then again my ways are not his ways.

I imagine some of the Israelites were probably mumbling something like this behind Moses' back. They were saying things like, "Moses doesn't know where he's going," "This isn't the shortest way," or "We should have taken that left at Albuquerque," - Bugs Bunny fans will get this one.

God had His reason for taking the Israelites the way He did. It doesn't say whether or not God told them His plans, then again, God doesn't always tell us, either. Does He? You see, when I'm in the valley I don't, and often can't, see my life from God's perspective. He has His reasons - protection, lessons to be learned, healing that needs to take place, whatever it is I probably don't see it at the time. To be honest, I just want out of the valley; so I ask and look for the quickest way out. And when it doesn't happen like I expect it to I respond, "DO WHAT?!"

Valley experiencers take a lesson from me, don't take the shortcut. Don't miss out on God's plans for you. I know it's tough. It can be a hard journey, but remember, your ways are not God's ways, for His ways are so much greater. They are so much better. You will definitely want to experience His plans!

So. . .remain obedient, faithfully trusting God for the details!


Mike

Faithfulness

In Exodus 12:33 the people of Egypt URGED the people of Israel to GET OUT!! for fear that all of them might die. Hmmmm. . .didn't God tell Pharoah that He would only kill the firstborn sons? Yeah, I'm a firstborn, kinda scary to think about. Now, I don't know if the people knew this little fact or not, but Pharoah certainly did. And I don't know that if Pharoah didn't allow the people to go if God wouldn't have killed more people. That's God's call, not mine. But did someone, somewhere, forget what the Lord had told them?

I know I sometimes forget what the Lord has told me. It's easy to do in life. It's even easier to do when you find yourself in the midst of the valley. We get so busy with everything going on around us - job, kids, marriage, friends, even church becomes something we get busy doing (versus being) - and before we know it we forget.

We forget that God said He wouldn't put more on us that we could handle. We forget He would give us peace that goes beyond human comprehension. We forget we have a Spirit, not of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and discipline. WE FORGET!!

What has God shared with you that you have forgotten? What has God told you, but because of your valley. . .your life. . .you have let it slip your heart and mind? Stop and ask God to remind you today of what He has spoken to you, so you, like the Israelites, will always remember what He has done and said.

Finding Him Faithful,
Mike

Change of Heart

Well. . .continuing on this journey with Moses and the Israelites. Today we find that the locals' perspective of Moses has changed. Exodus 11:3 says:

Now the LORD had caused the Egyptians to look favorably on the people of Israel, and Moses was considered a very great man in the land of Egypt. He was respected by Pharaoh's officials and the Egyptian people alike.

Do you remember RockyIV? Rocky takes on the Russian, Ivan Drago - now there was a stud! - after Drago kills his close friend Apollo Creed in an exhibition boxing match, pitting the USA against the Russian machine. Remeber how, at the end of the fight Rocky speaks to the Russian people? He says, "During the fight, I've seen a lot of changing, in the way I feel about you, and the way you feel about me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I can change, and you can change, everyone can change." Then everyone goes nuts, even the politburo (government leaders) applaud Rocky! Everyone is cheering, clapping, and smiling. Their perspective of Rocky and Americans changed.

I think it was kinda like that for Moses and the Israelites. In Rocky IV the Russians see Rocky stand toe-to-toe with their champion, Drago, and not only survive, but WIN! In Moses' case the Egyptians and the officials saw Moses (along with the God of Creation) stand toe-to-toe with Pharoah and, not only survive, but they won as well. I guess after 10 plagues I think I would begin to look a little favorably at Moses, too. How 'bout you? We must always remember, though, it is God who does the changing, not us. God changed the way the Egyptian people and officials viewed Moses and the Israelites and it is God who changes hearts as well as surroundings in our valleys.

I say all that to say this: When we find ourselves in the valley facing what feels like overshelming odds, remember that the God who is surpemely sovereign changes hearts and perspectives. It is the God of Abraham, Jacob, and Isaac who also changes surroundings. So if you're dealing with relational issues in your valley or having to work through stuff that includes people and difficult surroundings, remember we serve the God of change!

So. . .stay on the journey, be faithful & obedient, and trust God for the details. . .trust Him to even change hearts and perspectives.

Watch and see,
Mike

Look for the Other Side!

Note:
I'm walking through Exodus for now, so you will probably see a trend.

I'm posting twice because I was unable to post yesterday and I wanted to get caught up. Some good stuff here.

Alrighty then!
===========================

Valley experiencers, how would you respond to God if, in the midst of your deepest valley experience, you began to get the feeling you have to go deeper? What if you had to take on additional pain and suffering, even more than you are facing now? Something to think about as we look at the Israelites. Looking at Exodus 5 we find Moses and Aaron - HEY FLOCK everyone needs at least one Aaron in their life, this is where YOU come in - asking Pharoah to let the people of God go so they can go into the wilderness to worship and celebrate the Lord, their God.

Pharoah is HOT at hearing their request. He ain't likin' it one bit!! He responds by adding more difficulty to an already tough job. He makes the Israelites keep up their brick production quota without providing some of their materials, like straw. Ever tried to make bricks without straw? Me neither. So I'm imagining trying to make chocolate-chip cookis without any chocolate chips. And, oh by the way, you still have to make as many today as you did yesterday! Get the picture?

Pharoah's command is harsh - agreed? Why would God allow this? Moses and Aaron were there to take God's people away from such cruelty. Yet. . .He allows them to experience more pain, more suffering.

In the end, though, the Israelites would experience something they had not know in some 400 years - FREEDOM!! They couldn't see it at the time, but it's theirs and they would eventually receive it. God always had it to give to them, and they, like Pharoah, would see God's unmatchless soveriegnty and in the end the Israelites were to see the "other side" of their valley.

When we are in the valley it does appear that - and in reality it actually happens - we go deeper. . .a little deeper in pain, suffering, away from the light into the darkness. The Israelites, God's own people, suffered real pain. We, too, may be asked to endure more pain for a little while longer, but God IS sovereign. He's there all the time. He hasn't left us or forsaken us. And eventually there's an "other side."

God was well aware of the Iraelite's circumstances. He is well aware of yours. This morning take time to thank God for your "other side." You may not be able to see it, but it's there. OH IT'S THERE! Don't allow your valley. . .your pain. . .your suffering keep you from experiencing the unmatchless soveriegnty of God.

Looking for my binoculars!!
Mike

Why Me?

This isn't the "Why me?" that thinks, "why am I in the valley?" It's the "why me?" that says "why do you want me to do that!?" In Exodus 4 we find Moses standing before the very presence of God. Jehova has told Moses to go on God's behalf and tell Pharoah to release the Israelites. God does some pretty impressive stuff to let Moses know that God is able. Moses' reply to all this? "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." (v 14) Ohhhh Moses, why would you EVER say something like that? Are you rolling your eyes, too? Yeah, that takes guts - telling God "NO!" Refusing to go for God!!

How many times has God had something for me to do and I refused? You ever do that? This is the same God who spoke the universe into being, who raised man from the dust and fearfully and wonderfully created all his intricate parts - even the fun ones - and who raised the dead to walk again. So why do I hesitate? Why do I find reason after reason - spoken and unspoken - not to go and do? Why do I deny God, as though He is incapable of equipping and enabling little ol' me to accompish the very mission/purpose He, himself, has asked me to do?

I know the answer. The real reason I stand flat-footed has a simple answer with many parts. Parts like:

• denial
• lack of faith
  
• fear
• pride
  
• selfishness

All these parts add up to one thing - SIN. Sin in my life keeps me from believing God. . .seeing God. . .experiencing God. It is sin that holds me captive rather than allowing me to experience the freedom that comes from obedience.

You? You holding back? You unwilling to go and do? What's God wanting you to do? Where is God wanting you to go? You know it's true. . .sometimes we valley experincers get so caught up in our experience, in our valley, in our pain, in our suffering, in me, me, me, me that we deny God the pleasure of seeing us through a task - a mission. We stand before a holy and powerful God and say, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." In doing so we miss out on incredible blessings and opportunities to see God do some exciting things in, through and around us.

What's keeping you from going? What's keeping you from doing? What, in your life, makes you like me. . .like Moses?

Open Handed Before God,
Mike

Hey You!!

God gave me a pretty cool word this morning. I think it's appropriate for many of us, but especially for vally experiencers.

In Exodus 3:1-15 God appears to Moses. Now, God didn't just show up. You know. . .He didn't appear in His royal robe, long white, flowing beard, bright light kind of stuff. He showed up in a most unusual way - A BURNING BUSH! So, here's Moses busy with sheep - how busy do you think he was? - on Mount Horeb, the mountain of God and this bush catches fire. Don't know about you but anything catching fire without me setting it ablaze would probably catch my attention, but God went even further, the bush wasn't turning into ashes. It was just on fire! This DID get Moses' attention and God used it to speak a powerful message into the life of Moses.

OK, what about you and me? What must God do to get our attention? What must He do to grab us so He can speak into our lives? For Moses it was a non-consuming fire, what about you?

If you're like me burning bushes are neat. Think about it. . .how cool would that be to have God show up in the midst of a burning bush? I'm afraid that's exactly what it would take to get my attention. Why does it seem to always take something dramatic in our lives. . .something like valley experiences for God to get our attention? I don't know. I do, however, agree with Stuart Briscoe who writes in his devotional One Year Book of Devotions for Men, "the busier a man is the more difficult it is to get his attention." How true and how sad. Many of you have been in the valley a long time (or so it appears) and your focus has been on the circumstances, the environment, the longing for a mountain top. I know because I feel the very same way and do the very same things.

I'm so busy with stuff I wonder that if I did see a burning bush the first thought through my congested and screwed up mind would probably be, "Great, another fire to put out!" How 'bout you?

Valley experiencers and flock, alike, let's slow down so God can get our attention. I'm almost certain He has some pretty cool and powerful stuff for you and me- didn't think cool and powerful could go together did ya? I hope God wouldn't need something as dramatic as a burning bush to get my attention, but if it takes that, so be it!


FLAME ON!
Mike

it's Been a Year

On the way home from Lufkin I was reflecting on the year it's been. Yes, it's already been a year since Karen passed away.

A YEAR!! Sometimes it seems like yesterday we were getting ready for her funeral. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. It's still been a year!

A yearof transition.
A year of firsts.
A year of frustation.
A year of emotions.
A year of new beginnings.
A year of leaving.
A year of becoming.
A year in the valley.
A year full of lessons.
A year of God like I've never seen Him, felt Him, experienced Him, needed Him or loved Him before.

Thank you God for never letting go, especially when I wasn't hanging on. Thank you for carrying this wayword, hurting, tired little sheep when he didn't, sometimes couldn't, put one little hoof in front of another. Thank you for picking him up in your comforting, nurturing arms and putting him around your shoulders and allowing him to hitch a ride on his Shepherd.

I'm not completely out of this valley yet, but getting closer. Don't know what this year has in store for me, but I do know, in the words of Dave Busby, God is still God and He is still right!! Amen?

Leaving and Living,
Mike

Happy Anniversary!!

Well, this is the day. The day that folks have been telling me to look forward to, like some inner switch gets flipped and things are somehow magically different. Don't know what that means for me, but regardless, today is the the day - the one year anniversary of Karen's going home party!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY KAREN!!

Thought about it yesterday, Psalms 84:10 says, Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere, and Karen has spent 365 days in the courts of God! How cool is that?

Went back to Lufkin this past weekend. Yesterday would have been the Sunday she passed away into the glorious presence of her God. I didn't get a chance to attend worship that particular Sunday. I remember calling Jeff and telling him Karen had a bad night and was still in a lot of pain. I was going to stay with her and make sure she was OK. Litlle did I know I would never worship with her again this side of heaven.

So I made up for missing last year and attended Carpenter's Way's worship service yesterday. I was just a little late, but during the welcome I made my way to my seat - down near the front on the left side of the worshp center - just behind where Karen and I used to sit each week and worship together.

It was great to see so many friends - family, really. There were a lot of necks to hug, hands to shake and "Good to see ya"'s to exchange. Afterwards was just as touching. Thoe I had yet to see made their way over to see me - shake a hand, hug a neck, share a smile. Even those who I had not always agreed with seem to reach out to me. It was a very humbling expereince.

I wish I know how to put what I was feeling into words. I don't know if words could/would express all I was feeling. It was homecoming, closure, makin' up, rejoicing, and missing rolled up into one great emotional burrito with the sides cracking open allowing emotional ingredients to oooze out. . .slowly. . .a little at a time.

I miss Texas. I miss Lufkin - you're only 7 minutes from anywhere in town. I really miss Carpenter's Way - not the church with all its activities, but the people with all their love, grace, and mercy. Father, thank you for a church family like Carptenter's Way! Carpenter's Way, I will never forget you and how you ministered to me and my family. What a wonderful flock you are and have been. Keep it up!! There will be others. There's always others.

Mike