Chapters

I am not the most voracious of readers. I like things in bullet or story form, things that are quick to the point and practical or life-stories. Because I am A.D.D. and am easily distracted it takes me a while to read a book, then I must discuss it or re-read it to comprehend what was I read. But one thing I do know-it helps to complete a chapter before going on to the next.

Have you ever tried reading a book without finishing any of the chapters? I know one well-known pastor who only reads the chapters he is interested in, rather than reading the entire book. I've done that. But to move on to the next chapter without completing the current chapter is like jumping to the end of a movie while you're in the middle of it. Why would you do that? Probably wouldn't - probably wouldn't go to the next chapter of a book before you finish the current chapter either.

Life is like that. We must complete a chapter in our lives before we move on to the next. Some chapters lead into another. Some set up the next chapter. Some chapters have nothing to do with the next chapter. In fact, the chapters won't be tied to together until the end of the story. So it is with our lives - we must live and complete each chapter before we begin another. Some of these chapters are hard, some are fun, some are sad, some are filled with grief and pain, but they all must come to end at some point.

I'm beginning a new chapter in my own life. I have closed the chapter of my life entitled Life in Lufkin. God wrote an incredible chapter in my life. Through the storyline He gave me wonderful, loving friends. He showed me what ministering and leading with grace looks like. He wrote in my life how to love even through a loss. I could go on and on and on and on . . . you get the picture.

Keep this in mind - just because a chapter is closed doesn't mean it is no longer a part of your life story. It will always be there. It may have a definitive impact on the next chapter.

I'm beginning a new chapter in Mobile, Alabama. People and places are new, but that doesn't diminish the impact of the last chapter of my life. Life in Lufkin will ALWAYS be a part of my life, a very wonderfully influential part. Inspite of it's impact in my life, it is time to move on. A very precious and dear friend reminded me recently of Karen's desire for me to move on and get busy living my life after her passing. Karen said that she would be so busy worshipping her God that she won't be worried about me and I shouldn't be worried about her either.

So now it's time to begin a new chapter. Wonder what adventures it holds? Wonder who I will meet? I really wonder what God has in store for me? I don't have a clue, but I'm ready to find out.

What about you, fellow valley experiencer? Is God wanting to close a chapter in your life, but you keep your hand on this chapter afraid to let it close? Remember, you can't begin a new chapter until you're finished with this one. Let go and let God begin writing, as only He can do, this next chapter. Grasp it. Cling to it. Seek it out. Look forward to it. On the other side is the next mountain top.


Turning the page,
Mike

Moving forward without hanging on to the past

This came to me this morning as I was checking a friend and fellow bloggers site. Grant described the wrestling match he was having with God, then asked what I/we were wrestling with? Knowing Grant and he knowing my situation, I commented by saying, "moving forward without hanging on to the past." Ever feel like that?

It's a difficult thing to move foward with life without hanging on to the past. Or, at least I think it is. In my case it's my life with Karen. I'm not saying we should forget the past, because it is a part of our lives. Our memories contain our past and it's quite difficult to let those go. I also will admit that not all valley experiencers have a great past. I was fortunate. My past with Karen was filled with fun, challenges, changes, and a great relationship with a wonderful women.

Some of you don't have that kind of past. You want to forget it. The past for you contains pain, suffering, loneliness, hurt, regret, shame, and/or guilt. I couldn't blame you for a minute to want to forget that kind of past. I don't know if there's anything I could say that will help you address your past. I can say that out Shepherd helps us with our past. He cares for us, nurtures us, loves us to the point that we can face our past. I do know that God tells us to forget the forget what's happened and quit going over stuff that's history. He wants to do a new thing in us. He wants to be about new and healthy and glorious stuff in your life. It just may not happen the way we think it should. I know from personal experience.

If you're a valley experiencer and you are a Son or Daughter of God through the acceptance of Christ as your Lord and Savior, then your Father in heaven has prepared some mind-boggling things for you. Stuff you can't even imagine. Things so great they will blow you away when you experience them.

So get ready!
Set your feet in the blocks and get ready to run to your future.
Learning from your past, but not camping out in it.
Allowing it to have it's place in your past and a part of your life, but not controlling you or dictating your future.

Go for it!

Runnin' with my hands wide open,
Mike

God Works It Out!

Hey, valley experiencers! I want to assure you that God is for you, is on your side, is there all the time, loves you more than you can imagine, allows you to be tempted and tested to grow you, has more grace for you than you will ever experience, and is watching every step you take toward the next mountain top.

You may be thinking, "What brough this on? Why is Mike so positive all of a sudden?" Let me tell ya!

Today I closed on my house in Lufkin and am supposed to close on my house in Mobile on Wednesday. Here's the thing - I couldn't do this without God. He has worked out all the details, even gave me a real person to speak to today instead of voice mail (I can't go into details, but this was huge, take my word for it). Even though my truck didn't start at 5:15 am today, the cool thing was that I wasn't at a hotel where I didn't know anyone. I was at the house of my pastor who GRACIOUSLY volunteered to take me to the airport. Thanks Ed! When my truck wouldn't start I just told Satan he was not going to win! I knew God was in charge, that he loved me, was for me, was on my side and I just let him work out the details. I made my 7:00 am flight and everything else went smoothe as buttah!

I still have some details that must fall into place this week to get moved by Friday, but that's God's job. My job is to be obedient and to be faithful to do my part. I mean, God wants me to be involved in my own life. He doesn't expect me to just sit back and watch. He wants me to participate!

Sooo, I make calls, arrange flights (OK Suzanne, my secretary does this), fax stuff (OK, so Donya, my former secretary does this - I AM A LUCKY MAN!!). In other words, God EXPECTS me to do my part.

What is your part in your valley expereince? Are you hangin' back and expecting God to do everything? You DO have a part in the valley. You must keep moving forward and wait when necessary. Is it mending a relationship? confessing a sin? changing a habit or an attitude? What is it God is wanting you to do so you can move toward the next mountain top? It's probably not as difficult as you think and it may be right under your nose waiting for you. Remember, God loves you, is for you, is on your side and his your biggest cheer leader!

GET ON IT!!


Working with God,
Mike

Movement

One thing I have learned about going through the valley is that it is about movement - movement in the forward direction. Sometimes it may not be much movement at all, but it's all about movement.

If we aren't moving forward, then we become stagnant and begin to experience atrophy - spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional apathy. Without movement we wither up and die. It's movement, forward movement - as little as it may be - that keeps us going. It's what keeps us growing, reaching, dreaming for what can be. Movement towards the next mountain top is what keeps us motivated and challenged when nothing else seems to do.

If you are a valley experiencer, whatever the valley, do you feel like just quitting sometimes? When you stop moving, quit progressing forward how does that make you feel? For me, it's like having a stone around my neck. I experience a heaviness that can't be easily explained. But here's the cool thing - when we team up with Jesus, our Shepherd, our load is made easy. He himself said that when we yoke up with him it gets easier. I love how the Amplified version puts it because it speaks of rest, refreshment, and recreation. Isn't that what we need to keep going? Even if it's just a little rest, a little refreshment, a little recreation sometimes that's all we require to take one more step.

If you're struggling in the valley take some time to look back. Do you see any forward movement or are you sitting still, refusing to go any further? To move out of the valley you and I must learn to team up with our Shepherd and allow him to walk with us, taking on some of the load, some of the burden. I suggest you and I learn how to receive a little refreshment, rest, and re-creation.

Moving with my Shepherd,
Mike

Just a thought.

This is just a thought that hit me as I drove home from Atlanta, Georgia. I went there to hang out with my cousin, Stephen, and his family (a lot of them) while hurrican Dennis swept through the Mobile area.

On my drive home - some of you are now rolling your eyes and thinking, "Here we go again." What some of you don't know is that when I drive for extended periods of time by myself I begin to think about, on, and through some things.

I will explain what happened then I will throw out the thought.

As I was driving it seemed that every song that come on the radio was connected to a memory of Karen. Then I began to think back through the songs. Some of them didn't have anything to do with Karen and me. So I began wondering if I was trying to make the connection.

Here's the thought:
Do we try to make a connection to the memories we have of mountain top experiences? If so, why?

Hang with me a moment. For me, my mountain top was my marvelous relationship with Karen. Now, maybe, I'm trying to get back to that mountain top is some way. Maybe when I'm thinking of her I'm trying to relive the mountain top experience. Know what I found out? Even though I may have wanted to relive the mountain top stuff, I felt the pain of the valley. I began to miss Karen all the more. The memories weren't all that reassuring.I'm not sure.

For you valley experiencers, have you encountered this phenomenon?

Hmmmm. What do you think?

Driving and dreaming,
Mike

Breathing Rarified Air?

At approximately 1:10 pm today it will be exactly 2 months since Karen breathed her last breath of alien air and began breathing the glorified air only found in the presence of her God. I know approximately and exactly don't neccessarily go together in the same sentence, but you know what I mean. That's not the real issue. The real issue is whether or not you will be breathing glorfied air when you die?

I remember her last night in the hospital back in February/March (somewhere in there). We were both lying in her hospital bed and she asked me, "Mike, they'er sending me home to die, aren't they?" "Yes," I replied as we both lie there with tears pouring down our faces. You see Karen knew that one day she would no longer exist in earthly form. She knew that one day she would see the Father and worship Him. As we talked about things in a rambling fashion, she shared with me that she wasn't afraid to die. That didn't mean she wanted to suffer or that she was ready to leave this place, it just meant that she was confident in where she would spend eternity.

You see Karen knew she would spend eternity in heaven because of her personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. What about you?

What many do know, but you may not, was that Karen's greatest hope was to live a life in such a way as to bring glory to God. In other words, she didn't want people to think she was here for her own needs and wants and wishes. It's not that she didn't have them, she did. It's that Karen wanted to point people to her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ through her life.

Even this morning I received email that spoke of Karen reaching out to people and pointing them to a loving God (you know who you are).

Yeah, I'm sad that she's not here, but I am more than grateful that God gave me a woman who exemplified godly love, mercy, and service. I am wonderfully excited that even today people are still being touched by her witness and faithfulness to her God.

Let me share with you her last hours and moments before she went to worship her God. Maybe it will help you in some way.

Karen had a very tough night. Her pain had become unbearable. In fact, at one point during the night she was ready to go to the hospital - if you know Karen you know the pain had to be really, really bad because she hated going to the hospital. But, with the help of some incredible medical personnel we were able to stabilize her pain. The next morning things changed dramatically. Her breathing became very labored and her pulse was very shallow. The hospice nurse couldn't even pick it up to get her blood pressure.

Later that morning as friends and family began to gather around some of us were sitting around her praying and singing. I was sitting behind her and Connie Minshew was on her left and Dawne Allen was on her right. Ok, this wasn't the angelic choir we are speaking of here. But in the middle of our singing and praying Karen opended her eyes and with a smile on her face said that we could quit singing now, she saw God and that I would be OK and that her mother, Alice, would be OK. As fast as all that took place she was back to labored breathing and unable to respond to us.

More friends and family began to gather at the house. At about 1:08 Karen's mother, Alice was sitting holding her right hand. Her father, Clarence was sitting behind her. And I was sitting on her left. Karen suddenly drew her arms in and squinted her eyes. One tear leaked from the corner of her left eye and streamed down her cheek. Then she thrust her arms out like she was reaching for someone. I remember asking her if she saw God? She then puckered her lips as though she was kissing someone and then relaxed as she exhaled the last bit of air in her tiny body.

I honestly beleive she saw the face of God. I believe that when she drew her arms in and shed said her last tear that she was saying goodbye to us. And I believe that when she reached out and puckered her lips she was reaching for and kissing the face of God.

How do I know and believe all that. Because I know Karen had a personal relationship with God. You see the Bible tells us that what we deserve because of our sin is eternal separation from Him. But because He so desires a relationship with you and me He presents us with a free gift called eternal life through the death of Jesus, His one and only Son. We can't earn this gift. We can't get there by good works. We only have this relationship because of the Jesus' death on the cross. His death on the cross serves as a bridge over which you and I must cross to get into heaven. We cross this bridge when we accept Jesus as our personal savior and make Him the boss or the Lord of our lives.

If you are ready to admit that you are a sinner saved by the wonderful grace of God, and willing to sincerely accept the forgiveness of sins offered by God through the death of Jesus Christ, and you are willing to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of your life, then pray the following prayer right now:

"Lord Jesus Christ, I know I am a sinner and do not deserve eternal life. But, I believe You died and rose from the dead to purchase a place in heaven for me. Lord Jesus, come into my life; take control of my life: forgive me of my sins and save me. I repent of my sins and now place my trust in You for my salvation. I accept the free gift of eternal life."


If you prayed that prayer just now I want to congradulate you. Now email me and let me know. Click on the "Email Mike" link to the right just under my picture. I want to celebrate with you and help you as you begin your new life in Christ. Karen would be very excited for you right now. This is what she lived for.

Now you know for sure that you will be breathing glorified air!

For those of you who are valley experiencers and know God through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ - does your life point to the one who offered you salvation - in spite of your circumstances?

Your brother in Christ
Mike

On a more personal note

I share with you not a lesson I've learned, necessarily, but a word from my heart.

Today is July 7, 2005. Karen and I would have celebrated 21 incredible years together today. They weren't always wonderful years, though they were never dull. On one hand I am thankful for every moment we were able to spend together. I praise God above for for the 20 plus years we were able to share - good & bad, richer & poorer, healthy & sick.

On the other hand I am extremely sad today that we couldn't share this day together. Often times I hear people say something like, "I wouldn't trade one minute." I might even say that except for the fact that it is not completely true. In fact I would definitely trade these last two years for a healthy Karen in a heart beat. Yeah, sure, people may not have been ministered to, but today is not about them, it's about us! Sorry if I let you down, but it's how I feel this morning.

Whether I show it through my writings or not, or though my outward expressions or not, does not mean I am over Karen and things are all right. Let me be brutally honest with you -- I desparately miss Karen every day of my life. Sometimes it's because I am having to do some of the things she used to do. At times, it's because I miss her presence. Other times, I miss her advice and attentive ear. I also miss her support, encouragement, and affirmation. Overall, I miss the love of my wife. The kind of love that a wife bestows upon her husband. The love that was meant to be filled by Karen alone.

Father, I do thank you for every single moment Karen and I were together. Grant me strength to get through this day. I have so much to do and I need to focus on everything. Help me comforter to get through this day.

Still struggling in the valley,
Mike

In the Clear?

I'm sitting in my new office at First Baptist North Mobile wondering if we can be in the clear and remain in the valley.

Let me explain. The other day I was thinking about the blog and the thought came to me, "I feel like I'm starting to come out of the valley." To tell you the truth, it was a pretty good feeling. But what I think I really meant was that I'm coming out of this leg of my journey. I'm getting to start a new season of life without Karen and it's going pretty good. Then, I was hit with the thought, "Am I out of the valley? I am still learning to live without Karen as a part of my life on an everyday basis, so am I really there yet?"

I don't think so. I don't think I have escaped the valley experience. I think I am experiencing the unimpeded force of God in my life. Experiencing His momentum feels a little like being on a mountain top without the emotional high. It's like an everyday experience rather than this one-time-shot,-camp-week thing. Though I do feel as though I'm slowly coming up to the treeline. I'm out of the valley, sort of, yet I'm not out of it completely. I can see the mountain top, but I know now is not the time to reach for the summit.

The summit, ahhh the summit. There it is, just out of reach. I can see it. I can almost feel what it will be like to stand on top of it, but I know, without any doubt, now is not the time to make a run for the summit. There is still some valley to experience. There is still some feeding, resting, lapping up of still waters, and nurturing by the eternal Shepherd that is to take place before the run for the summit.

Yeah, I think we can be "out" of the valley and still be in it. Valley experiencers don't fret. Don't get anxious. Don't worry. (I think there's a verse in the Bible that speaks to such). You, too, may see the summit--wait. Wait for the Shepherd's leading. Wait until He releases you to run for the summit. It's there. It will always be there. It's not going anywhere. So don't try too soon, for I fret falling short may be worse than waiting.

Seeing the summit,

Mike