Alone!

Hey valley experiencers, ever feel alone in your valley? Ever feel like there's no one who understands, no one who is around? Ever feel like you could scream, cry, kick, or shout and no one would hear you? And if they did, they wouldn't understand - even if they tried? I know how you feel.

It's hard. . .sometimes. People, the flock, they want to help but don't know how. They just don't get what's going on inside of me. . .of you. There's just times when if I had someone, anyone, who would take time to understand. I don't want their advice, I don't want them to nod, agree, disagree, or cry with me. I just want them to say "OK". I just want them to say "Thank you for your struggle. Thank you for taking it and meeting it head on. Thank you, Mike, for working through this."

To be very honest and transparent, sometimes I don't even feel God. For real! As much as I want to be obedient and faithful to my calling, to my God, to my Savior, it's hard because I wonder if He's there at all. How do I get that way? I haven't got the slightest clue. I just seemed to find myself there. How do I get back on the trail to follow my Shepherd? All I know to do is to continue to be faithful to my calling and to continue to seek God.

For me, to get back behind my Shepherd, I need re-creating time. I need to find a time and a place where it's just God and me. A place, physically and spiritually, where He and I can be together, one-on-one.

Oh, by the way, it's OK to be angry with and at God. He's big enough! If He wasn't you wouldn't have a chance today. I would have already used Him up. You also need to know that you need to be honest with God. Not just in your head, but with your words. People have told me that God knows our thoughts and how we feel. True, but saying it takes guts. It takes boldness. Saying how we feel or what's really in our hearts also has a way of coming out different than when we hold it in. I remember getting angry with God and crying out to Him, litterally. I cried, I shouted, I screamed. I did it all to God and at God. In my head I didn't cry or get angry, but when I said it aloud it all changed.

OK, here's the skinny! Sometimes we feel alone. Flock get this! Valley experiencers, know this, though you feel alone, but you are not alone. God will put people in your life who will be there for you. He is also there, with you. A friend once told me that when I can't see the hand of God, I have to trust His heart. Trust God - it's called faith. Also, feeling alone is not a reason to get away from God. Find YOUR way to get back to Him. For me, it's getting alone with Him and being honest with Him and listening to Him.

What about you?


Screaming and Kicking,
Mike