Up to my eyballs!

Don't necessarily know why I haven't posted a new entry in the last couple of days, except that I have been up to my eyballs in life. Ever notice when you want to do something it gets replaced by things you have to do? Things that otherwise wouldn't be a priority, but because of circumstances move themselves up on the list.

For me the thing that keeps me from doing other things and continues to be a priority in my life is caring for my wife, Karen. What you may or may not know is that two years ago Karen was diagnosed with colon cancer. The cancer is now at a stage that medicine, as we and M.D. Anderson know it, can do nothing to help her. We are simply managing her pain. After experiencing a weekend of little or no pain, rest, and visiting with her family and some of mine, she had a bad night last night. Nothing we did alleviated the pain. This morning hospice was called out and have finally got the pain under control.

These are the circumstances I find myself. The same circumstances that create priorities I wish I never had to experience - at least not now. These are the circumstances that move things like entries in my blog lower on the check-off list I must create to bring order to my life. And as much as I hate the circumstances I know it's life.

This is life. It's my life. It's Karen's life. But it is still life. Sometimes all I can do is comfort her with words and pray. Sometimes I get to make her laugh. Sometimes I cry alongside her. And sometimes I cry for her. That's life. That's life in the jungle. One minute you're watching life from the sidelines, the next minute you're in the trenches. One minute you're sleeping, the next minute you're changing duragesic patches (for pain). One minute you're watching the most cherished person in your life rest, the next you're changing drain bags and cleaining up throw-up buckets.

All I can say is that life stinks sometimes, but this is life. It's the life God has allowed us to live - even if it is but a vapor, a scratch on the time-line of eternity. So I live it to its fullest. I live it to please and glorify God. Our ultimate goal, inspite of our circumstances and regardless of the outcome, is to bring glory to God. This doesn't mean that it always happens. It doesn't. I have had more than my share of "moments" that didn't bring glory or pleasure to God. But that doesn't mean it's doesn't remain my focus.

Has life and it's circumstances changed your priorities? Then you should consider make the glory of God your utmost priority. From personal experience I can tell you it changes your perspective!